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Elder abuse is an act that causes harm to an older person. LGBTI older people are particularly vulnerable to elder abuse relating to their sexual orientation, gender identity or bodily diversity

What is elder abuse?

Elder abuse is an act which causes harm to an older person. The World Health Organisation defines it as: “a single or repeated act, or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust, which causes harm or distress to an older person.”

Elder abuse is usually carried out by a trusted person. This can be a partner, a family member, a friend, or a carer. These people are perpetrators of elder abuse.

Elder abuse can be financial, emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual. Older people may experience several different types of abuse. It can be direct abuse or abuse through neglect or failing to prevent harm to the older person. 

Recognising and identifying elder abuse

If an older LGBTI person is being abused, friends, visitors or carers might notice that they are withdrawn or depressed. They might be having trouble paying for essentials like clothes or food, or they may be late paying bills. They might seem upset after seeing a particular person. They might have unexplained injuries, sudden incontinence, inadequate clothing or unexplained weight loss. They may suddenly lack interest in LGBTI events and topics.

What are the specific types of elder abuse LGBTI older people can experience?

Threats of disclosing sexual orientation or gender identity

Some perpetrators threaten to disclose the sexual orientation or gender identity of the older person. Some older LGBTI people keep themselves safe by hiding their sexual orientation or gender identity. A perpetrator can pressure an older person by threatening to expose them.

Pressure to return to the closet

Many older LGBTI people are out and proud. Unsupportive family, friends or carers may try to bully the older person into hiding or denying their sexual orientation and gender identity.

Denial of sexual orientation or gender

Perpetrators may refuse to accept the truth of an older LGBT person’s sexual orientation or gender. They may put pressure on service providers and carers to do the same. For example, they may refuse to use the correct pronouns for an older trans person. They may request that gender-affirming medications and treatments are denied.

Refusing to recognise and support partners

Perpetrators may refuse to accept the partners of older LGBTI people. They may deny them active participation in the older person’s life and treat them unkindly. Because marriage equality only happened recently, many older LGBT people are not legally married. This makes it easy for perpetrators to deny their partnerships.

Body shaming

Intersex people may experience abuse in the form of body shaming and stigmatisation due to physical characteristics that do not align with traditional medical models of male and female bodies. Trans and gender-diverse people also may experience body shaming due to traditional notions of how males and females should present.

Excluding chosen family

Many LGBTI people have been rejected from their family of origin and do not have children. Families of choice can be made up of partners, ex-partners and friends who are committed to looking after one another. Perpetrators may refuse to recognise these chosen family members and exclude the most important people from an older LGBTI person’s life.

Perpetrators may try to bully an older LGBTI person into excluding partners and chosen family members from wills or other legal documents.

Grandparent alienation

Older LGBTI people may be denied access to grandchildren by family members who are hostile to their sexual orientation, gender identity or sex characteristics.

Denial of appropriate personal care services

For many LGBTI people, physical appearance is an important part of who they are. Perpetrators may refuse to maintain hair, makeup or clothes in accordance with people’s wishes.

Abuse based on health status

Older people living with HIV may be vulnerable to abuse based on their health status. This can result in denial of medication or prejudiced beliefs about transmission.

Protection

Maintain strong connections with others

Older LGBTI people can be protected from elder abuse by maintaining strong community networks and personal connections. Abuse is less likely to happen if friends are around.

Let aged care providers know what you need. It takes confidence, but speaking openly to aged care staff about the needs of LGBTI people will help them to protect your rights.

Make your own decisions

Older LGBTI people have the right to make their own decisions and choices, including choices about where to live, how to live, their money and health. Others may not agree with these choices, but they should be respected and honoured.

Stay on top of your legal and financial affairs

It is important to make sure financial and legal affairs are in order and up to date. It’s always best to use qualified and independent professionals. If that’s not possible, keep as many trusted people informed as possible. Read more on our "Future Planning" page.

Get active and be healthy

Physical activity is important for everyone, no matter what age. Maintaining good mental and physical health helps to maintain our independence.

Reporting elder abuse

Many older LGBTI people are keen to advocate for their rights. They also often act as advocates for other victims of elder abuse. But older LGBTI people can be reluctant to seek support or report abuse. This is because many older LGBTI people have had experiences of persecution and stigmatisation, and are wary of government, health, care, police and justice systems. Despite these experiences, it is vital to speak out about elder abuse.

Older LGBTI people may feel ashamed if the perpetrator of abuse is an intimate partner, part of chosen family, or an adult child. They may be reluctant to speak up or give evidence that could encourage homophobic views.

If you suspect someone you know is being abused, it is important to listen to them carefully. Ask questions without judgement and allow them the time they need to share their experience. If you decide to report the abuse, it is important to maintain the person’s confidentiality, particularly about their sexual orientation, gender or sex characteristics, and not do anything to put them at risk.

More information

• In an emergency - dial 000
• Protecting the rights of older Australians - The Australian Government is committed to preventing and responding to elder abuse.
• Compass - LGBTQ abuse – an often-unacknowledged form of elder abuse.
• QLife - Anonymous and free LGBTIQ+ peer support and referral for people in Australia wanting to talk about sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings or relationships. Online information includes a directory of LGBTIQ+ services. Visit the QLife website or call 1800 184 527.